There is more to life than just living…

I have been so busy with living my life (i.e. home, work, plain survival) that I haven’t just spent time to sit back and enjoy it. Sometimes, I realize just how many days have flown by with nothing to show for them. I woke up this morning to a sleeping baby slowly edging me out of the bed. As I watched her sleep so soundly, I remembered how just a few months ago, she couldn’t lift her own head, sit up, or do 99% of the things she can today. It’s so sad that I might have missed something already, but it’s also a reminder of how much more there is to come and how precious it all is.

Last night, Emerson was full of energy. I didn’t think she would ever be ready to go to sleep and she showed absolutely no signs of slowing down. So Emerson and I cuddled up in my bed and both fell asleep to the sounds of Phillip’s guitar coming from upstairs. We don’t co-sleep very often and its usually not pre-planned. She has her crib and I have my bed. But my plans of calming her down and getting her sleepy, usually turns into me falling asleep. The beauty of waking up with her beside me is getting to watch her slowly stretch, open her eyes just enough to check out her surroundings, and then see the biggest grin appear on her face when she sees me. After a peaceful night of sleep, Emerson is in her prime. So happy and full of smiles and giggles. So instead of jumping out of bed, rushing my morning shower, and then running out the door, I spent time truly enjoying the moment.

The consequences of this slow morning: I arrived at work an hour late. But it was worth it. I love the flexibility of my job, but at the same time, I worry that trying to work full-time and keep Emerson out of daycare is going to make me go crazy. I feel terrible when all I can think about at the end of the day is putting Emerson to bed and me sitting on the couch for a few minutes before I too am in bed.

I loved our quick trip to the beach. And I love any time I get to spend with her. I just hope to take advantage of the small moments. We all spend so much time worrying about the “big” moments that we forget about all the time in between.